By Kim Longden
During one of our Advent family devotions, we were prompted to shout out our favorite Christmas traditions on the count of three. I smiled at the things my kids proclaimed as their faves. As a parent and facilitator of said traditions, I often find it funny how many weren’t wrought from intentional planning, but from simply trying different things on the fly in the midst of a busy season.
I heard one of my kids yell out, “Donut Tower!” Ah, yes. Several years ago I was trying to figure out how to balance Christmas morning with older kids (who want to tear into their presents immediately) versus little kids (who would lose their minds if they didn’t eat first). I picked up several varieties of mini-donuts and piled them up on a tray in the middle of the coffee table to appease all ages. Everyone loved it, and thus the long-enduring “Christmas Donut Tower” tradition was born.
I heard another yell, “The Advent Drawer!” This one made me laugh, because the now-esteemed Advent Drawer was so ridiculous in its origin! In the off-season, I found a Christmas countdown contraption with 25 drawers (75% off!) and put it away until the next year. When I pulled the thing out to actually use, I realized the drawers were too tiny to put the small (but not small enough, apparently!) stuff I had already bought to put in them. I frustratingly devised an alternative game which involved The Price is Right theme music and drawing names in an attempt to make the tiny drawers fun. I was going to quietly dispose of the countdown contraption after that first year, but the kids loved the silly game so much that “The Advent Drawer” became a thing.
A couple weeks ago, I was at a potluck with adults when a similar conversation about traditions came up. I looked down at the tray of Veggie Squares on the table and thought of my mom. This was her “thing” that she always made for get-togethers; and I brought it this year, remembering her and all the traditions we shared together as a family growing up. The Christmas season brings up many bittersweet associations with loved ones I have lost. Those memories made me think: as my family “makes” our own traditions (or simply embrace the silly things we do each year), I have no idea what will carry on in the lives of my loved ones after my time here has finished.
I was thinking about traditions again as I sat in church on Christmas morning. “Church on Christmas Morning” is a new tradition for our family. This is the second year our congregation has conducted a service on Christmas day, so our Christmas morning traditions have changed. I now arrange the donut tower in the dark of dawn and we eat it in the candlelight of our Advent wreath. We’ve moved present opening time to after church.
As we filed into our seats, I realized I had come to church that day out of a sense of duty, or maybe even some kind of desire to “balance the scales” on our secular vs. Christian family traditions. My focus this time of year is so narrowly zoned in on my kids and turning Christmas into a memorable experience for them! I’ve found, though, that even when my motives are not in the right place, my gracious Father in Heaven still blesses me. While worshiping with my immediate family and my church family on Christmas morning, I truly experienced the gift of a tradition of celebration I have in the broader body of Christ—a gift that will endure even after my current life season with kids at home has ended.
I’m beginning to see that, as much as I love the family traditions we have in this season of life, many of them are fleeting. There will come a time when the kids will be grown and gone and many of our “Christmas traditions” will go with them. (Hopefully, The Advent Drawer will go with one of them, too!)
My family will continue to change, through growth and loss. Some traditions will fade, and I’m sure my kids will invent some new ones, perhaps with their own kids someday. Maybe no one will bring a tray of Veggie Squares to family Christmas ten years from now; or maybe they will.
Our family “Christmas traditions” bring us closer together, and give us a shared experience to hold onto. I am thankful for that. But, as a mom who is really starting to realize how quickly time passes, I am also thankful for these timeless traditions I have in the body of Christ that shift my focus to the things that are eternal.
Jesus is God with us, even in the midst of all the change. The Savior is my peace and joy on Christmas Day and always! That truth is ever-lasting in every season. I am so thankful for the new “Church on Christmas Morning” tradition! In the rush of time and all my efforts to make Christmas a “memorable experience” for my kids, the permanence of the Newborn King was such a comforting gift to this mom.