By Liz Rossow
It is really easy to get caught up in everything you have to do in a day. You wake earlier than you want, and the day never stops. From all of the things you have to do every day (work, school, eat, see people), to the things that you don’t have to do every day, but somehow still add up (meetings, appointments, planning for future events), the to-do list is never ending.
And yet, it’s so easy to find comfort in that craziness. If your calendar is full, then you get to feel in control. That is the mindset, isn’t it? If I am going through my day, and I hit all the things I am meant to do, and I know what is going on and what is happening, then I am fine.
There is no time to realize I am exhausted. No time to realize I am not healthy. No time to realize I have not processed my emotions.
There is also this thought that if I don’t do it, it will never get done. It might be a task at work or a homework assignment, something that actually is your responsibility to get done. But often, I take on more than my share. I need to make sure I talk to everyone, because, what if no one talks to them?? I need to double check the work of my team, just to make sure it gets done properly. I need to talk about Jesus to everyone, and answer all the questions, because there is no one else to do it.
Of course, it feels like there is no need to rely on anyone else, because you assume there will always be more time in the day. And don’t forget, if you do rely on others, then you become a burden. And don’t you know, the bible says to put others before yourself? Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Be a servant to all. Be humble. Don’t think about yourself.
How easily we can turn that truth into never asking for help! Our mindset begins to be: Let me pick up my cross, and your cross, and everyone else’s crosses, so that you don’t have to carry them. The result of this kind of “service” is being so worn down, but not willing to admit it.
The attempt to do everything for others is actually a form of pride. We don’t often recognize it as pride. It can’t be! We are not thinking of ourselves in prideful ways: that we are more Christlike than everyone else; or that no one else can handle the same burdens we can. We don’t think we are so much better than other people because we are able to handle so much. (Because, in all honesty, we are not handling it.)
When you walk around with this warped “service” mentality, you are not trying to put down other people; you are just trying to help. You are simply trying to be good follower of Jesus, following his commands.
We can want to love others and serve them so much that we subconsciously decide we have to do it all, and do it perfectly. And it feels like the end of the world if one of the many plates we are spinning drops. That is actually a form of self-reliance, self-sufficiency, even pride.
I remember thinking when I was little that I didn’t want Jesus to die for me. Not because I didn’t believe in him or in his love for me, but because I loved him so much. And when you love someone, you don’t want them to go through any pain or any problems; so I secretly wished that Jesus wouldn’t have done that for me.
Don’t worry, God; I can take it.
Clearly, that childish mindset is problematic. But I can still have that mindset to this day! Maybe not to such an extreme, but I often catch myself trying to do everything and be everything everyone around me needs me to do and be.
It makes me so tired.
But when I try to pull back, all the guilty thoughts of “you are being selfish” and “that’s not what Jesus would do” start to creep in. So I’m tempted to push myself just a little farther.
Don’t worry, everyone; I can take it.
One of my college professors once told me something that completely changed my mindset. She looked at me and said, “Liz, you are the ‘other’ to someone else.”
You are the other to someone else.
As in, love one another. Serve one another. Pray for one another. Bear one another’s burdens. Of course, you should do all that for other people! But don’t forget, you are also the other to someone else.
That insight blew my mind. I had never thought of it that way before. If everyone went around trying to serve other people, but never accepted help themselves, no one would have anybody to serve!
A heart of service is great, but that does not mean you are immune to being served. It’s OK to accept help. It’s OK to not be OK. It’s even OK to just take time to yourself and take a break. You are not God; go take a nap.
We are meant to be like Jesus, not be Jesus.
The weight of salvation does not rest on your shoulders. Your daily tasks are important, but not the end of the world.
Let people help. Let people serve you. Jesus takes your burdens: the things you feel like you can handle, as well as the things you know you cannot. Jesus invites you to give it all to him.
And, guess what? He can take it. Like, actually. Jesus can actually handle it. He is so much stronger than you. Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Take Jesus up on that offer.
Take a deep breath and know: you can’t handle it all, and you don’t have to handle it all.
You are not God; go take a nap.
Editor’s Note: The text thread went as follows.
Liz: “I think you should make a sticker that says, ‘You are not God; go take a nap.'”
Me: “You know, I think you are right.”
Liz [a couple of days later}: “If you make a sticker saying, ‘You are not God; go take a nap’ I will write a blog about it.”
You have read the blog. Now here is the sticker. And the clock. And the throw pillow.
