By Heidi Goehmann
This last week, I noted to a friend that I could feel the ghosts of grief clawing just at the corners of my psyche. It wasn’t that I was sad; it was more that I could feel the unmistakable sense of memories I didn’t want to remember coming closer, pushing themselves into my business, my heart, and my mind.
We are coming up on a year since we all became a little more aware of our mortality, carried the weight of disconnection closer to our chests, and encountered loss after loss, some of which didn’t have faces or names or words. Covid brought family time and a chance to dial back and a whole lot of reflection, but we all experienced those joys simultaneously with the losses, and we need to process that loss in order to get to the resilience and hope that can lead us out of this place we’ve been for a year.
There is good stuff in this journey and a lot of yuck.
When we look at this journey together and hold our losses with each other, when we celebrate where we’ve been, talk about what we did, and yes, where we’re going with this new strength and awareness, that’s where healing comes in, meaty and loud.
Children especially need moments to say, “Wow! That was not fun. Here’s what made me sad. Here’s what brought me hope. Here’s what I learned.” But don’t be fooled: we need it just as much as adults.
So, in March, our family is having a special dinner to celebrate. We will set out our favorite foods. We will set time aside. There will be uninterrupted passing, of bread, of words, of honor, of hope.
We will have a Covid-versary meal to celebrate what we walked through together, how far we’ve come, and where we are going, with or without Covid in our lives still.
We will ask these questions:
- What made you sad?
- What did you lose or miss out on?
- What brought you hope?
- What did you learn?
- Where do you want to go from here?
I invite you to celebrate in some way your Covid-versary, humanity’s Covid-versary. Process, connect, and lean into the grief at the corners of your psyche, so that you can grab onto the hope firmly knitted in your soul.
How will you celebrate our Covid-versary?
Heidi Goehmann writes at heidegoehmann.com. Her new book, Finding Hope: From Brokenness to Restoration, is scheduled for release in April, 2021.